A Burner in the Default World

Normally, we think of "cancel culture" as an issue related to public figures like celebrities, politicians, and media figures. Yet, we are all vulnerable to cancel culture. For ordinary people, cancel culture is much more insidious than it is for public figures. Usually, cancel culture is a result of a public outcry against an individual based on an offensive comment that has been made public, an exposed scandal, or even from slander towards an individual. For a high school student in a liberal school, a rumor about a student can get a student blacklisted among their peers. Yet, it is insidious often because the victim often is unaware about the individual who started the rumor, or even about the rumor itsel. Often, the victim of the rumor, is the victim of slander, as the rumor isn’t based on truth. Imagine being around a bunch of liberals wearing a MAGA hat. Imagine being around a bunch of conservatives wearing a BLM hat or Planned Parenthood hat. If your liberal bo...

Has anyone ever disinvited you with no explanation; you responded with dissatisfaction (who wouldn't respond with anger, sadness, or frustration from being disinvited?), and rather than the person apologizing, they accuse you as "being very sensitive." It's a common gaslighting technique when one acts rude or disrespectful. Rather than apologize, show empathy, or make it up to the individual, they shift the blame. Callous and insensitive people tend to blame others for being "too sensitive." Despite they also tend to be reactive when others act insensitive towards them. Just think of how thin-skinned Donald Trump criticizes "snowflakes" and "people who are too politically correct." When you are in a positive environment that fosters gifting, radical-inclusion, and radical self-expression like at Burning Man, it makes you realize the "mistakes" people make in the default world. A mistake is an accident. At Burning Man, ...

What I recognized and loved about being on the Playa was that I didn’t need to make sense of other people’s decisions. What do I mean by that? Have you ever been uninvited by a group of friends, and tried to make sense of it? “Rachel might have just accidentally forgot” “Mike didn’t invite me because he knew Mark would also be there” “That person is a jerk” “why wasn’t I invited, I am so confused, do they think I am weird,” “maybe I am being too sensitive.” When at Burning Man, it was the only time in my life, and probably most burning virgins' life, where we felt welcomed and invited by everyone. This made me discover that the people who don’t include you, don’t matter. Explaining why you were not included is not good for mental health. I have noticed I feel much happier when I don’t try and explain or make sense of other people’s behavior. It is easier to let things go. I can’t speak for everyone. I might be weird, but like everyone reading this, I am also human. And ...

What I liked about Burning Man is that everything I saw people do was volunteer-based. What I loved about Burning Man is that every moment was about immediate connection at the moment. I recognized that at Burning Man there is no need to make sense of what appears to be rude. It made me recognize if you feel someone is rude don’t trust your thoughts, trust your gut. While I was at Burning Man, I lost my immunity to rudeness. After returning to the default world, I became allergic to rude behavior. In Burning Man, when you’re in a radically inclusive environment, you recognize that rude behavior in the default world is worse than it is. It is similar to when people abstain from processed foods for a week, you will recognize how bad the food is. I do wish those people who engage in rude behavior to find enlightenment in the value of respecting your surroundings. I hope these individuals make it to Black Rock City. What I loved about Burning Man was the people I connected with...

Getting insulted by a homeless person on the street doesn’t bother me. That person I don’t expect to have class or have any relationship with. Getting insulted by a group of entitled rich Wall Street bankers isn’t hurtful. I don’t expect much from them. Yet, getting insulted by a burner based on judgments is hurtful. Or not being accepted by a clique of burners is hurtful. As burners you expect to embrace radical acceptance and radical inclusion, and belief in respecting people around you. To get disrespected by those who don’t follow those principles, or fail to attempt to follow those principles, really burns. I don’t like seeing a 55-year-old doctor making fart jokes at a dinner table. That is behavior I am ok with a 5 year old doing it. It is shameful when you see burners gossip and excluding people and blacklisting people based on gossip. That behavior is common but not acceptable even in high school. I don’t value diversity by skin color, religion, ethnicity, or sexu...