Nothing Hurts Like Getting Burned By a Burner

Getting insulted by a homeless person on the street doesn’t bother me. That person I don’t expect to have class or have any relationship with. Getting insulted by a group of entitled rich Wall Street bankers isn’t hurtful. I don’t expect much from them. Yet, getting insulted by a burner based on judgments is hurtful. Or not being accepted by a clique of burners is hurtful. As burners you expect to embrace radical acceptance and radical inclusion, and belief in respecting people around you. To get disrespected by those who don’t follow those principles, or fail to attempt to follow those principles, really burns. I don’t like seeing a 55-year-old doctor making fart jokes at a dinner table. That is behavior I am ok with a 5 year old doing it. It is shameful when you see burners gossip and excluding people and blacklisting people based on gossip. That behavior is common but not acceptable even in high school. I don’t value diversity by skin color, religion, ethnicity, or sexual orientation. As I don’t judge people on those factors. That is acceptance. Burning Man is radical acceptance which means being radical. By accepting people also on things the default world ignores; diversity in thought and neurodiversity. The opposite of accepting neurodiversity is the need to fit in. Or blacklisting people for misjudgment or mistakes. Yet, do not expect forgiveness without an apology. I often hear criticism of rich people perceived as showing off at Burning Man. Or famous-for-being-famous people like Paris Hilton participating at Burning Man. Personally, like many people, I am not a fan of showing off, the concept of social influencers, or Paris Hilton. Yet, by excluding these individuals these traits might fall in line with acceptance. Yet, Burning Man is more than just acceptance. It’s radical acceptance. Which means accepting people who are famous for being famous and people who show off wealth. I was once suggested I would be “marked as that guy” when I asked a benign question that made me look like an inexperienced burner. I have never been told a warning like being “marked” or called “that guy.” It was letting the cat out of the bag exposing that I was around a person that labels people or finds it important to care what people think. How can we embrace radical self-expression if we need to constantly worry about what we say like we are walking on eggshells? And to be warned by a burner not to ask a question burns a lot more than being warned by someone like a bullying boss at work. As soon as the individual told me about being “marked as that guy” I received a text from a colleague of that burner that felt like interrogation. Which is a result of the person who referred to me as “that guy.” Sounds like I was a topic of conversation that wasn’t something that involved praise or kind words. There is another word for talking around individuals in a negative way based on conjecture. That word is called gossip. It burns when it comes from a burner. Fortunately, I did receive a nice apology from the individual who warned me about being “marked as that guy.” Yet, I was judged by the person mentioning that “I am very sensitive.” Inside or outside the Burning Man community, I think most people wouldn’t like being told “marked as that guy.” Or being interrogated by another individual based on a conversation about me rather than a conversation with me. At Burning Man, I realized that I am not too sensitive when you’re around an environment consisting of respectful people. In the default world, people can be very insensitive. Yet, it is disappointing to see certain behavior from a person who attends Burning Man. It burns when it comes from a burner.